He's gone
by gunmaster13
Summary: After 3 years of not seeing the love of his life , Tony finally calls Steve but what he didn't expect to hear is that cap is in the hospital for the 20th after multiple suicide attempts


Yeah new to well new to the strop part

I don't own anything it I did I would give every super fan free admission to any super hero movie

Be warned there is occness , languege and sad Steve, hope you like it if you want a sequel PM me enjoy

He's gone

it's been 3 years since 'civil war ' as the news calls it but I will never really adjust to knowing my mother murderer is out there but I has to try , with the split in the accords my and Steves marriage was gone and I missed the love of my life even if he knowingly lied to me .So I did something I promised myself I'd never do , i called Steve .

" come on Steve answer please " I said now nursing a bottle of Steve favorite soda , since the accords, I went to tharepy and rehab to stop the drinking by Friday litterally dragging me and trapping me in my workshop with no alcohol but all nessesary needs like food,water,bathroom,bed,etc and so I spent 4 weeks locked up but I got past the addiction and I came out a clean man , I smiled fondly at the fun times i had as a playboy ,going to party's picking a girl or guy up and getting drunk as hell but know I had to grow up and stop... for my kids ... for Steve . After 5 try's someone picks up and it's not Steve

" hello?" A voice said , no Sam picked up but if he's there where's Steve , panicky started to build in Tony's heart " Sam ? Where's Steve ?" I asked trying to hide the panicky in my voice , I heard a sigh " he's in the hospital stark " Sam replied , Tony's blood froze ' why's Steve in the hospital , what happened to cap ?' Was all he thought " whys Steve in the hospital ? " I asked more panicked then he was before another sigh

" he's suicidal , this is the 20th time he's tried to kill himself but I always find him before its to late" Sam said tiredly then continued " he's tried everything ; jumping, cutting,overdose , neck fucking everthing stark and he's not good he jumped off the Brooklyn bridge for god sakes , ever since you broke up and Bucky died he's gone down hill from your break up , he started cutting small letters into his skin , he never wore short sleeves or shorts anymore always jeans and always long shirts or sweaters , but then he...he cut so deep ,didn't clean up and fell asleep on the couch I noticed blood on the couch by his wrists and found all the scars and new ones they were everywhere "Sam said trying to keep it together but I was frozen ' Brooklyn bridge? , cutting ? , Buckys dead ? ... steves suicidal ? No nonononono I need to go see him '

" what hospital Sam ? Please tell me " he asked more like pleaded once again he heard a sigh and a sniff " St.John on third , tony... if you scare him and find anything sharp or suspicious get it away from him , if he does anything weird follow him ...keep him safe , protect him from himself ...please ?" Sam asked

" thanks Sam , I'll keep that in mind " I say hanging up and getting up to get into my suit , the suit goes around me in a blanket like hug and I fly to the hospital , I walk to his room after the nurse told me and gave me her number but replied " I've got eyes on a good guy , find yourself one " then walked away to the number 107 , ha that's his army number , walks by into the room I found Steve sleeping in the fatal position with bloody wrist and wet ' he cried himself to sleep ... what have I done to him ' I thought horrified by what he's turned to , I walk over to his right side and try to find his hand only to find he only his entire left arm is gone , he shifted in his sleep and he starts to sweat and pant for air " no , please don't go tony please ,please please please please don't leave me NOOOOOOOO DONT GO DONT KILL HIM HE DONT DO IT BUCKY , punish me just don't kill Tony I'd rather take the pain then make him suffer again more then he already has , hurt me , injure me , kill me even I'm the problem not him " Steve said as he went through another nightmare he began gripping the bed with his left arm so hard it was breaking it so I'd did the only thing I could think of and pried his fingers of the handle and took his hand in mine and started to kiss it , that either stoped his nightmare or gave him a heart attack cause he immediately froze all actions , even his pulse froze.

His eyes fluttered open as bright light hit he's eyes he groaned and looked at me yanking his arm away but I wouldn't let go " t-t-t-ton-n-n-nyy? W-w-wha-at-t-t a-a-re y-you-u d-doing-g h-here-e ? " he barely got out as he tried and failed to get his remaining hand out of my grip but I would let go , as he does this I say the scars and newly bleeding ones from stiches " what have I done to you ? Sam told me everything " I asked again he froze then again tried to yank his arm out of my grip " w-what are you ta-alking about-t , I'm fine go back to what ever girl or guy or whatever the fuck ya have now " he said as he continued

To try to get his hand out " no, your not fine your suicidal your gonna kill yourself if you keep going like this babe you need to stop " tony pleads steves reply scared the shit out of him

"good , I've lost everything I ever held important and I should of been dead along time ago anyway , now if you don't mind stop calling me babe,let me go and go back to you family tones they need you more then me anyway , take care of Petey say my goodbye for him and let me kill myself in FUCKING PEACE " Steve said finally getting his hand out of my grip

" daddy?" A voice said as peter came in , him being 17 now since the battle and he came with me in his suit following me steves head whipped to the door as his eyes practically popped out of his face " daddy ? Why are you doing this to yourself da ?" Peter said looking at the scrawny,battered body of his other dad

Steve just looked at us with watery tears and started to cry but he wouldn't let himself do it in front of his family , he hid his face in his sweater as the tears flowed " peter you shouldn't be here go back to your home,your pop , I've caused you all to much pain for one life time you deserve some happiness in your life" he said with sobs inbetween as he curled into himself peter and we shook our heads looking at each other then Pete went on the left side " da you are my family , I don't care what it takes your comin home till your well " Pete said

Steve just cried again and looked onto the bed as it was the most fascinating thing in the world " I lost the 3 most important people during civil war : you , your dad ... and myself " Steve said still sniffing and trying to hide his face " da , you lost us for a little bit but we're here to take you home da , get dressed were going home Peter S Rogers " Peter said chuckling he sniffed as he went to nuzzle his dad and I went to kiss him , I was afraid he wouldn't respond but after a second he responded more passionately and he groan we put our foreheads together smiling at each other " come on babe time to go home " I say giving him one last kiss before we left him to get dressed

As they left Steve got his scetch book out and opened it to a page with the bold letters ' why would you leave them ?' He took a sharpie out from his supplies and roughly started to draw them as a family when he was done he drew the words ' because you love them an they won't give up on you ' , Steve had a hard time trying to get his pants on but eventually he got it on and walked out of the room with his bag he slung it over his shoulder , Peter an Tony were waiting in by the doors with smiles on their faces Steve smiled devilishly " let go home Steve , there's a surprise waiting for ya and I think your gonna like it "I say smugly , we get out side and into the car and happy looks at Steve with disappearance and looks at me questionly but the sees the scars and his missing arm and his eyes widen sympatheticly " good to have ya back ms. Rogers " he said wisely genuinely and fondly Steve smiles faintly and fondly as well " it's good to be back mr.hogan it good to be back" Steve said Peter was now nuzzling into his chest while I had his only hand in my lap

When we got out of the car and went into the tower the voice of a sassy demon and the face of a angel showed her face " da !!!! " she said jumping onto the man as they tumbled down steves face was shock but he still put his arm on the girl , she had wild tangly red hair " FRIDAY? That you baby ?" He asked silently with tears in his eyes as he hugged they hugged each other tighter refusing to let go " da!!! " came several other voices as more body's tackled onto him but he didn't groan or anything he just sat there with the kids he hasn't seen in 3 whole years , Steve looked up at the body's " U?, Butterfingers?, Dummy-E ? Oh my god I missed you all so much , so so so much I'm so sorry " he said hugging them tighter , I laughed and help him up but they wouldn't let go and some how they all stayed on his body comfortably " come one babe that's not even the surprise " I say as his eyes widened and the kids snickered as FRIDAY wiped his tears away for him he smiled at her and kissed her forehead

We got to the elevator and went to our floor as we stepped out Natasha ,Bruce ,Thor ,Clint , Wanda, T'challa and Sam were standing there they looked at their captain holding the kids one arm and probably assumed the other was cover , " Guys what are you doing here and why aren't you at eachothers throats ? Did I miss something Tony ?"Steve asked I smiled and took Dummy-E, Butterfingers but U and FRIDAY refused to let go of him but that was okay because the team would've seen his arm by now their eyes widened , Clint was the first one to notice " hey um Cap where's your arm please say I'm not the only one not seeing it ?"Clint asked nervously that made Steve freeze in place and look at his missing arm " sir da's anxiety levels are spiking , he's gonna pass out " FRIDAY said as she rubbed her hand on his face to try and calm him down his breathing became pants as he slide down the wall " no nononono" he said trying to get away from them , from the team seeing their captain break down and have a panic attack right in front of them but before Steve could get into that mode warm familiar hands were holding his face " Steve babe look at me your around friends you home with me and Peter you just got tackled by th other kids and they all missed you come one babe come back to me for the kids ...for me " I say as he held his husbands face in his hand trying get his dead, panicked sick like eyes to come back to life " Tony ? Babe why are they here ?" He asked scared and little panicked still as I put his head in my chest

" The Accords were scrapped , you were right babe governments couldn't be trusted with this kind of power so we're making the New Avenger team, new name , logo everything we're starting over not only as a team but as a family _, non of us are giving up in you cause I love and and I don't give up on people I love...okay Howard is and and always will be the one exception but I love you Steve Rogers and all your faults cause I know not even Captain America is perfect " I say as he nuzzles into my chest gripping my shirts like it was his life line " thank you , love thank you so much." At that he past out from over stress like he would usually " Thor put him to bed I have to explain some shit and I really wish I hadn't given up alcohol at this time cause it's gonna be a long night of explaining , FRIDAY get me one of steves favourite sodas , it's a good enough outlet to drinking its addicting " I say as Thor gently takes Steve in his arms and returns him to my room_

 _" ok tony you said you would explain so start explaining , like one WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HIM ARM ?" Clint yelled as I take a sip of my soda and look down " it all started with the accords then it went downhill from there "_


End file.
